Thursday, May 24, 2007

A Lesson in Gym Etiquette

With the recent turmoil (thats been goin on for quite some time now) going on in my life, the only suitable outlet for my anger n frustration is the gym.. For me, aside from the usual gymmy (is there such a word???) stuff such as running or lifting weights, the gym has become the place I work on my capoeira and do the lil bit of socializing I have managed to accomplish since my arrival in this country bout 8 to 9 months ago... Hence, its safe to assume the time I spend in the gym is probably the only thing keeping me sane so far...

However, I've noticed a few people have no idea how to go bout behaving themselves in such an environment, let alone in public places... it surprises me to observe the VAST number of ppl completely unaware of appropriate public etiquette.. behold, a few Do's n Dont's in this matter:

i) Stop Wasting Time (Part 1): y do people INSIST on acting all eager to get on the treadmill, practically racing to beat other gym members to use the treadmill, setting the timer for 40 minutes and going at a SPEED OF 4-5 KM/HR?????? i mean seriously, im not sure what ur purpose for using the treadmill is.. either ur warming up for a workout, or ur looking to go long distance to burn fat quick... but trust me, the only thing u lose this way is a race with a turtle... wuts even worse is that ppl set the timer for 40 mins, and then get off after 2-3 mins, having already eliminated other gym members' hope of using the treadmill in this lifetime, thanks to the intended 40 min run!!

ii) Stop Wasting Time (Part 2): this one goes primarily for the ladies who engage in the following: the other day, i wanted to use the leg-press machine... turns out there's already someone using it, so i generously wait, hoping to hop on the machine after she's done with her sets... however, she's sitting there with a magazine, the weight she's lifting on her legs is barely 20lbs, and she's going on n on n on n.. well u get the idea... once again, WHY do people believe that if they keep doing one exercise repetitively Over n Over again, that part of their body is gonna grow immediately?? it was CLEARLY OBVIOUS this lady was hibernating at the press-machine intending to tone-up her ass to Jessica Alba standards, n in her mind the obvious way to go about this was to keep pumpin on the machine until the ass showed up... FRUSTRATING, I tell You!!!

iii) Do NOT Obstruct: This is fairly straightforward, easy to do.. YET SO MANY PEOPLE DONT!! when u see someone working out in a particular area, stop obstructing their workout space.. DO NOT go n purposely stand in their workout space n limit their movement.. it makes people VERY VERY ANGRY!! and when they're lifting weights, DO NOT get in their way.. not only does it stop them working out, its DANGEROUS!!

iv) Do NOT bring your kids to the gym: I'm talking bout lil toddlers who's just grasped the fine art of walking/crawling... Actually, wait, its ok if u bring your kids to the gym, provided you keep an eye on them at ALL times to make sure they dont cause any harm to themselves or others... the LAST thing you should do is get interested in your ass-workouts (see above), become totally oblivious of ur kid(s)' existence, and let them go wandering bout.. clearly, u shud be aware they get adventurous and try to pick up weights on their own, come in the way of others lifting weights, or trip n bump their head on something made out of solid steel.. the other day i had to interrupt my workout to make sure a kid didnt smack herself in the head with 2lb dumbells, all cuz the mother couldnt be bothered to look after the kid n decided to let her loose in the gym... n keep in mind the instructors arent always walking around free to make sure ur kids dont come to any harm... they have work to do, and baby-sitting isnt included in the job description..

v) Stop Ogling at the women: OK, I admit I do this myself.. but NOT in the following way: there r several dance classes every evening, some of which are belly-dancing sessions.. now i'll admit, generally we guys like to observe women in motion at the gym, especially considering their fancy get-ups.. n heck, i'll admit it, here ladies LOVE dressing up (not saying if they do it well or not), n the gym is no exception.. however, during dance classes (mostly all-girls dance-classes), the ladies r there for a reason other than attracting male attention (im guessing)... so oodles of guys drooling at the adjoining window doesnt really make em feel like goin at their workouts to the max, im sure... although, i dont really mind, to be honest.. it just leaves more equipment free for me to use while the dance class is goin on :D

vi) Keep the air around you clean and fresh: You know the gym is one of few places where several individuals may crowd into a limited vicinity... hence, always ALWAYS REFRAIN from passing gas when surrounded by other members!!!! I cannot STRESS THIS ENOUGH!!! i was workin my way thru a spinning session the other day.. my bike was one of those at the back.. i prefer it as its closer to the door, and a fresh cool draught comes in everytime someone enters/exits.. however, it also has the disadvantage of you staring an ass (literally) head on during the entire class... lets just say all of a sudden the air went extremely foul.. Definitely not the kind of fresh cool draught I had in mind...

vii) and Finally (for now), Stop misusing equipment in the shower room!!: U can take that for any meaning ud like, and ud probably be right... here's wut happened the other day: I come outta the shower, all dried off from my trusty towel, and went up to use the hair-dryer... and i see a guy at the mirror, butt-naked, using the hair-dryer.. now, ppl like to walk around butt-naked in the shower room all the time, so i didnt take any offense at that.. however, wut ive observed here is ppl dont bring their own towels.. hence they take showers, and then use the hair dryer to dry em off... so here's wut this guy does... he's drying himself using the dryer... and then PUTS THE DRYER BETWEEN HIS LEGS!!!! Me = SHOCKED (needless to say..)... at this point, id pretty much been 99% convinced not to EVER touch that dryer again, and started to walk away.. u know what he did to shove that remaining 1% in my face?? thats right, he took it between his legs again.. only this time, from the other way round.... im never using hair-dryers again.. nuff said..

Share your traumatizing gym experiences (if you dare) in the Comments Section...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

the hair dryer part is... erm... quite unpleasant :P eeewwwww!!

apparently in Celeb Fitness, theres a lady who walks around naked AND puts on/ removes her tampon in front of every1.

OMG OMG OMG!!