Sigh.. of All the Dumbest mistakes...

I've been kinda depressed lately.. Ok, thats puttin it mildly, I've been REALLY depressed lately... n this time I have a reason.. its not just one of my mood swings, which can sometimes change as frequently as stock quotes.. Anyways, gettin back to the matter at hand..

I recently had an over-the-phone interview with a prospective employer... The job was great, n to be honest, I havent seen one like that anyplace else... I wud have been recruited as a trainee, learnt all there is to learn bout ecommerce, be paid as much as any other employee.. n best of all, I wud have returned to KL!!!

So anyways, the 1st interview went great, n I got an immediate scheduling for the 2nd phone interview.. That caused alot of confusion due to the timezone differences between interviewer and interviewee (for a while there I was under the impression that I was bein blown off in an entirely unprofessional manner).. the 2nd interview finally took place.. it went fine... turns out I wasnt equipped with enough practical experience for 1 of the 2 posts I applied for, but I turned out to be just fine for the 2nd post (the trainee post)... I was confident I'd get it, n in my mind I'd already packed up n left for KL...

n then 2 mins later I get the interviewer's message, apologizin for not askin me earlier, and inquirin as to my expected salary... Now the salary range specified in the online job ad was quite high.. dreamy, to be honest... but obviously i didnt go for the max possible... I specified a range that pretty much justified my coming down to KL all the way from china, and was bout midrange of wut they'd offered.. ofcourse, I mentioned the salary wasnt important at all to me, wuts more important is the work n the learning experience, n I would definitely go lower...

alas, I feel that fine point was my undoing. I received the apologetic email the next night when I got back from Mandarin class... Family didnt seem so surprised, statin I may have asked for too much money, n that racial factors may have come into play as well... I can understand the part about the racial factors.. but askin for too much money??? sheeshh..

you know how u feel when something REALLY bad happens, and some smart-alec comes up with some advice that they cud have just simply mentioned in passing to u so that you cud have conveniently side-stepped the situation?? u get that immediate, immense 'Gee-thanks-for-not-givin-me-that-lil-peice-0f-advice- earlier-and-now-shoving-it-into-my-face' feeling, dontcha?? thats how I felt.. nothin against my family, ofcourse.. theyre among the wisest n smartest ppl i've ever known, especially when it comes to these matters
.. but i just couldnt help but feel slightly resentful at not having received that "Go for Rock-Bottom pay when ur a foreigner n have a long shot" tip BEFORE I stumbled thru the interview... i mean, its not like im a fresh grad lookin for his first break...

Sigh.. so basically thats it.. Now it just keeps hittin me that I may never get to go back to KL, nor even get out of this Godforsaken country... I'm gonna be stuck here workin as a damned 'errand boy' for the family business for the rest of my life, arent I??

Mom spent the better part of an hour that night over the phone explainin to me I'd pinned down too many hopes on that 1 job, n that I shud have gone all out n sent resumes as far as Kingdom Come!! Well, thankfully, that chance hasn't gone by yet, so I'm sending out resumes as far n wide as possible... To my friends in KL/Singapore, if you know of any MNCs out there currently hiring foreigners, do leave a message letting me know!!

I know I shud be more positive, have a better attitude bout this, but I just cant help but feel that interview was my best shot at gettin somewhere, n I blew it up with my own big mouth... n im gonna be stuck here for good, n not make it anywhere in life... n i get this naggin feeling that even the resumes Ive sent out so far wont make a single impact or get me a single interview appointment..

Is this the way everyone feels at some point in their career? just completely despondent n void of hope?? or is it just my negativity kickin in Big-time... maybe I'm just feelin this way cuz pretty much everything's been screwin up for me Career/Education wise since the last year or so...

for now, I guess until i can do something about my job situation, I'm just gonna help out here at work n giv it all i've got, even more so than I've been doin so far, startin Monday morning...

of all the F***ED up mistakes a guy cud make, this HAS DEFINITELY GOT TO BE AMONG THE TOP 10!!!


Update:

Sigh.. this incident just hurts so damned much, I cant even finish proofreading it, cuz it just stings that much more goin over it everytime... wut happened to the good ol' days when all that hurt was screwin up things with ur girl in high school/college??