GET OUTTA MY WAY, JACKA**!!!

Ever wonder what its like to be a car in a traffic jam?? No, im not referrin to having someone inside of you (literally) screaming 'Faster, Faster!!' n honking ur horn (again, literally) every now n then... shame on u horny bast**ds n bit**es for thinkin that way...

neways, gettin back to the topic.. well, try takin a swim sometime... at the swimming pool at my condominium... hehe, sounds like im showing off eh?? is that what u think??? that'll change in a couple of minutes...

My building is primarily infested (niiiiice choice of words.. u'll see y) by students of a nearby uni... I shall not name the uni or the condo, unless the condo management offers to pay me whatever I request...

every evening I head down to the pool for a swim, rip off my t-shirt (translated: find my way out of the huge t-shirt), walk to the shower proudly displayin my.. umm.. nevermind...

no, thats not wut i was gonna talk bout... was sumthin else...

let it go...

seriously...

neways, i had the mandatory shower (which there's no law against, btw, for all u swimmers out there who just jump into the pool like its ur own personal bath-tub with obviously NO concern for hygiene.. i mean who knows where u guys have been n wut u've brought into the tub, err, pool..) walked over to the pool, did the customary highly-unmanly-place-foot-in-the-pool-n-feel-temperature ritual, before satisfactorily jumping in... looked around... saw a few bobbing heads around, which kinda resembled those floaters they place to distinguish between lanes in a swim meet...

neways, warmed up.. n took off for the first lap... here's wut im thinkin as i started: alright, this is gonna be a good workout after a few laps... here's wut really happened: 'Oww!!.. sorry mann... its ok, its ok...' so i went back to the start, cuz i hate stoppin a lap in the middle.. on the way, I feel like a kid tryin to cross a busy street, swimmers just drifting by... dun get me wrong, i can swim.. i cud have just as easily swum right below em without their knowing, but some ppl get freaked out imagining u just wanted to get a look at their privates... yes im talking about women here... yes i do close my eyes (i CAN keep my eyes open in the water thou ;-) so beware )... no i dont touch n poke... yes its still safe for u to swim over me... no guys arent invited to swim over me... so neways, i swear its just like steppin off the curb onto the street: ok its safe to cross now.. look BOTH ways before crossing, son!!.. ur GONNA GET KILLED!!

neways, make it safely back to the start... n take off again... now it feels like im on the highway... why?? cuz im cruisin along at my own leisurely speed.. n then some jerk who's swimming next to me decides he wants to race.. so u notice him pick up speed.. sure, it might just be a coincidence that he's right there n workin out too... but then u stop at the other end... n he stops... u take a breather.. so does he... n then u get ready to start again.. n WUTTHE... SO DOES HE!!! so im like... AHA!!! FIGURED U OUT, B**CH!!!.. so wut do i do?? fake out... yes, at this point i failed to realize how lame i am... but i was in the moment, so wutever...i act like im gonna take off... n i do.. n then stop short n let him pass... n as I watch him wading off into the distance, madly racing with... noone... i stand tall... well, not that tall..just my own height... neways, i stood tall.. n gave him.. the look (for an understanding of the look, check out 'Zoolander'.. or 'The New Guy'.. either one is fine)... n i say, to noone in particular: 'Astalavista, Baby..' (cue theme song from 'Terminator 2: Judgement Day')..

not to mention, after my swim, when i took the mandatory shower again, there was a queue.. similar to queueing up at a toll, wouldnt u agree?? wuts pissing off thou, is the fact that NONE of these ppl showered before goin in, n now that theyre done, they shower.. so basically, its like sayin 'i bring all my filth into the pool... n then i wash up.. so im clean, i dun really care bout you fu**ers..'

so there's my comparison between a crowded swimming pool, n traffic jams... comments??

one more similarity: when u look at a crowded pool or a traffic jam from the window of a 20th floor apartment, it looks like ants r congregating (hence the earlier choice of the word 'infested')... thou in a jam, they look like theyre all lining up to go into the ant-hill.. in the pool, they loook like theyre all fussin about a dead ant... go figure...