Monday, March 13, 2006

Kill me... Kill me NOW...

no seriously... do it... DO IT!!!

the world is coming to an end... no the main cause will not be war or disease, but Insanity... n it'll pop-up where u least expect it...

alright, i'll admit, as an IT guy, I can expect situations every now n then where CERTAIN non-technical ppl may display their superfluous stupidity in everyday workplace events...

here's wut happened: I'm sitting comfortably in my cubicle (haha, i WISH i cud call it MY cubicle).. n one of the frikkin engineers comes in... n asks me to set up the conference room for a presentation... the CPU's already hooked up... so im kinda confused already.. like.. wuts to hook up??? neways, i go in... n its like the entire conference is ready n waitin to happen... but they need an IT guy to set up the presentation... seriously... n the engineer's standin behind me, breathing down my neck, it almost reminds me of the dependency Darth Vader places upon his life-support system...

n so i reach down...

extend my arm...

towards the CPU..

n press...

the POWER button..................

n lo n behold, instantaneous relief fills the engineer's whatever-fills-up-with-instantaneous-relief as the expectant Windows 98 screen pops up... kinda amazing how it soothes the mind when the Windows start up screen shows up n everyone calms down... takes a relaxing breath... exhales with ease... knowin that everything's ok...

WHATTHEFUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE????? i just pressed the frikkin ON button... YOU CANT EVEN DO THAT???? WHAT DID YOU DO AT COLLEGE???

this reminds me of another event that occurred almost a year ago... my mom's boss was in town, n had a critical presentation to prepare for some proposal crap.. neways, so she's on the phone with mom n goes: there's some highly critical modifications to be made to the presentation... u mentioned ur son was an IT guy, bring him over immediately... thats all she says... no offer for payment, or take ur time comin down but we need this today.. so mom thereby agrees to forgive all my sins if I can pull this one off for her... i mean, who needs an annual pilgrimage when circumstances like this can rid u of all sins... plus, im actually allowed to drive mom's seriously underpowered car at top-speed for the better part of an hour... oh joy!!!.. neways, we get there in like frikkin 45 mins... the boss cant even do so much as welcome us... she goes to the corner with mom n says like 'ur 45 mins late' to which I later reacted by goin 'wutthe.... were we supposed to teleport there or what??' neways... this is wut happened... i swear to God, after u read this, IT ppl (or anyone, actually.. this is THAT stupid) you will proceed to kick yourself:

she takes me into the business centre, which requires like 20 mins... n its like one fucking Dell PC with a scanner n printer attached... opens up the presentation.. Powerpoint, mind u... scrolls to the last slide (At this point i was a TAD bit nervous... cuz after all, this was my mom's boss, n she needed immediate help for a deal which might land her a truckload of dough).. points to the LAST frikkin line on the slide... n says (with an air intended only for life and death situations).... can u delete that line???







I know...


Let's ALL say it together: Kill me, Kill me NOW...

n i shud mention, she had an engineer accompanying her... n the dude was from India... INDIA!!! the land where the dude who invented Hotmail hails from... how do ppl, in this day n age, manage to get thru college without basic IT skills?

ohhh mannn... this stupid fat-ass, filthy-rich, scum-of-the-earth, so-called lady sat there while i proceeded to 'modify' the presentation... n then i asked... no really, i asked: 'is there anything else??' cuz im thinkin, please dont tell me i dragged my ass all the way to subang for just this...

Sigh.. i then proceeded to help then copy the presentation onto CD n print out the slides... genius work, i tell u... n allowed them to treat me to lemonade in the front-lobby, while i listened in on useless conversation between the boss n the engineers...

mom, can we leave.... PLEASE??? i need to whine about the hours i just wasted sittin here...


oh yeah, in order to pass my time, I hit on the lady in charge of the socalled 'business centre'... no she was no jessica alba... she was just practice...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

lolz!!! i genuinely feel sorry for u..lolz...i would've slammed my head into the closest wall